


To Honor Odin

by Ashbear



Series: Honor Among Us - Legends of the Guardian Forces [1]
Category: Final Fantasy VIII
Genre: Drama, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-05-28
Updated: 2010-05-28
Packaged: 2017-10-09 18:24:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/90241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ashbear/pseuds/Ashbear
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Squall learns to be a Knight, not only in title, but in honesty. "Training cannot be learned within a textbook or class. Training is only gained through time and experience. Love and hate are the two strongest allies and the two strongest enemies."</p>
            </blockquote>





	To Honor Odin

**Author's Note:**

> This one-shot was also originally written many, many years ago - in 2001, I believe. Back then, it was part of the Guardian Force series called "Honor Among Us." Again, my writing style has changed greatly over the years. ;)

XXXX

** _~ To Honor Odin ~_ **

XXXX

He had not been there.

A simple statement, but the implications cast uncertainty in her heart. Yes, it was only dinner in the cafeteria, not an elaborate date at an expensive restaurant. Had it been the first time, she would have understood. However, this was becoming a daily ritual - a rite of passage that she did not wish to participate. Flipping the grains of salt from the dinner tray had been her only entertainment over the last hour.

It was abundantly clear that he forgot, yet again.

Gathering up her belongings, she sighed inwardly. Should she confront him on this occasion or let it be? Talking to him about feelings was the emotional equivalent of walking on eggshells. Against better judgment, she decided to stop by his dormitory. Curfew was almost upon the young sorceress; she would have to be in quarters soon. Such restrictions as curfew did not apply to him; he was commander after all.

Staring at the wooden door, Rinoa deliberated whether to knock. She had made it this far. Slowly, unsurely, she raised her hand to knock. After a moment, she could hear the chain rattling. He opened it wearing black jeans and white t-shirt. For a moment their eyes locked, neither speaking a word.

He rubbed the back of his head before finally asking, "Can I help you with something?"

She swallowed deeply, almost too nervous to reply. "Squall, I thought we were going to meet for dinner tonight."

The knight no longer attempted eye contact, darting his attention to the hallway beyond. "I had work to do. The applications for the cadets still need reviewing. Honestly, I just don't think we’ll be able to get together this week, maybe next week we can work something in."

She smiled softly, what could she say? Quistis too was helping with applications, and also told her of the deadline to review... _three months_ from now.

"All right… I'll see you around."

_See you around?_

That was what she was telling her knight? That was a statement you say to associates or business acquaintances –not something said to the man pledged to protect your very existence. Quickly, she turned around. No, she wasn't about to cry, not again, she had learned to wear that mask. She was not going to give him the satisfaction of knowing her pain; she could tell him a million times but relationships were never about ‘telling’ they were about understanding.

He watched as she left. As an afterthought, he added, "I promise, next week."

She had not argued, had not questioned. He held his breath; she did not even turn around to acknowledge his comment. '_You're a fool,' _he reprimanded himself.

Squall watched as her dark hair flowed, covering her shoulders. He watched her sullen form until she disappeared beyond the hallway. He was slightly surprised that she never once looked back. Had he hurt her that deeply? Turning around, he re-entered his room. The only light that illuminated the small room was a desk lamp, leaving most the room in absolute darkness.

_"Was that the honorable deed Knight Leonhart?"_

Squall was startled at the husky voice coming from the darkened abyss. He flipped the master wall switch, flooding the entire room with light. Sitting in his chair was Odin - one of his most trusted and revered Guardian Forces. Darkened dragon bones served as horns on his ornate headdress. Armor not made of known materials, but those which could only be forged within such recesses of the underworld. A golden face, one both majestic and scarred, adorned the unearthly soldier. Black luminescent orbs were where eyes should be, reflecting light with the same intensity as oil reflecting the sun. A man of legend, a man of valor.

Squall and the others had proved their worth to this Guardian Force some time ago, yet Odin still questioned his honor.

"How can you be here? Don't you have to be summoned or called?" asked Squall. “Or _needed.”_

_"I cannot ever be junctioned to any mortal. I am a knight; I am a warrior. Unlike the others you christen as Guardian Forces - I once walked this earth as human. Neither Gilgamesh nor I can ever be contained within your minds, we are free to serve whom we desire. Garden must have taught you such wisdom in history lessons. This cannot be knowledge unknown to you."_

"I did not ask _why _I can't junction you," Squall replied, crossing his arms over his chest, "I asked why you are here, sitting in my chair no less,"

_"No Knight Leonhart that is not what you asked. Your question was far deeper. You cannot hide from me, as you think you are able to hide from her. You have never asked my assistance, but in times of need, I vowed to help thee."_

"Well _thee_ does not need help. I see no enemies around," countered the commander, trying to understand the warrior's appearance.

The elder knight laughed, a sound heard by scarcely a man. _"Enemies are always around you. Though one does not see them, they reside deep within your being. Enemies can take many forms - such is the curse of humanity. Those enemies will be your downfall Knight Leonhart, and ultimately, hers. No lessons taught within four walls can teach you such. You have sworn to protect her, so you must learn the true duty of a knight."_

Squall was growing angry at the interrogation. "I would give my life for her. That should never be questioned."

Odin laughed once again, _"You are so young my child, too young for such a responsibility."_

"_It is_ what I've been trained to do," defended Squall. "I have no doubts when it comes to my fighting abilities."

Odin stood walking toward the young man, warning in his tone. _"You are an idiot, a fool! Training cannot be learned within a textbook or class. Training is only gained through time and experience. Love and hate are the two strongest allies and the two strongest enemies. Two emotions intertwined since the beginning of time, such is the way of Hyne. The line between is thin and often blurred. Your emotions betray you. Someday they will betray her if honesty is not among them. For I lost my sorceress to my faults and history is destined to repeat itself."_

"Why is history always said to be destined to repeat itself? I've studied centuries of history, what was the name of your sorceress?"

_"Names are for the living, labels cast upon by others. Not so in the afterlife. The auras survive – it is the spirit that fills all living creatures. We pray to almighty gods, majestic goddesses, and to all the deities beyond understanding. But they too are only a part of the essence of life. No one entity contains singular power; all are depending on each other, all weak without the spirit of the living. The spirit of the living is stronger than all entities combined."_

"You seem to be speaking in a lot of riddles," countered Squall. "If you have something to say – say it and leave. What does any of this have to do with my life?"

_"I have chosen my fate as reverence for my sorceress. I walk upon this earth to serve others and teach of past mistakes. I have chosen the life of a Guardian Force for her honor, a tribute to the life I could not protect."_

"So…your sorceress was attacked by her enemies and you think I’m 'destined' to repeat the cycle? Just because you failed, doesn't mean that I will."

_"Again, you speak as a textbook warrior - mindless drones set upon this world to serve the battles of others. Enemies take many forms. I could not save my sorceress from her strongest enemy...herself. I gained knowledge of supreme weapons, I studied the art of defense, and above all, I protected her from men who sought to destroy her. I worked until the sun greeted another day. For countless seasons, I studied the skill of battle. Always thinking about her protection, but never protecting."_

Squall slowly started to comprehend the warrior's meaning - the similarities within the last statement unsettling.

"She died?"

_"My son, please heed the warnings. The strongest enemy for any sorceress is herself. Nevertheless, you and she are intertwined, as are the emotions love and hate. She needs you there, not only in battle, but also in peace. My sorceress ended her own life while I was in far off lands defending her. I lost sight in what I was protecting, too engrossed within the pretence of strategy and work. Love can turn to hate without the barer even knowing. Habit is learned early; she knows you spoke untruths tonight. Yet she did not argue that is not her way."_

Squall walked over to the window, looking into the nothingness of night. Can love grow to hate? Would years of hidden contempt toward him lead Rinoa to do something so drastic as to end her own life? No, it would not happen in one night, but would decades of feeling alone, abandoned lead her to do something so extreme?

He had not been there tonight; he had not been there in months - fear kept him at bay. Rinoa needed him and he had failed. Yet a man, a fallen knight, a warrior, who knew much of honor, was offering him a second chance. Yes, Squall was_ in need_, he just had not realized it.  

The commander heard the great knight's steps nearing, _"Now tell me of honor."_

"Honor is not hiding behind walls. It is to protect the one I love - not only physically but emotionally…we are connected. If I lie to myself, then I lie to her. Love and hate are really one and the same - the only difference is in the perception. It’s not enough for me just to have the title of Knight, but I have to understand its meaning.”

Odin nodded at the apprentice knight, _"Now go to her. I fear that history will have to wait another generation to repeat."_

Squall looked at the warrior, bowing slightly, "You have brought your sorceress honor."

He returned the gesture, _"As you will yours."_

* * *

Rinoa lay on her bed reading an outdated issue of Timber Maniacs as she skimmed through pages in some futile attempt to take her mind off Squall. It was thirty minutes past curfew now, leaving her quarters would be too much of a risk. Sitting up, she tossed the magazine hastily on her nightstand. A knock on the door surprised her, although Selphie did have a habit of sneaking around after curfew. Actually, she was grateful for the chance to have some company.

Not attempting to fix herself up, she walked to the door. She was shocked to see Squall standing there. Not only had he never bothered coming to her room after curfew, he held a bag of… something?

"Squall?" The hesitation in her voice was betraying her composure. "What…what are you doing?"

His azure eyes peered directly into hers, looking beyond the mask she tried desperately to wear. He made no attempt to break the contact. She felt the intimacy within his look, something almost foreign over time.

He bit his lower lip, and then slowly moistened it before beginning to talk, "Rinoa, can I please come in?"

Stepping to the side, she motioned with her hand for him to enter.

"I, um...brought dinner," he announced holding up a brown bag. A slight smile crossed her face, but she didn't say anything. He placed his fingertips on her cheek as he explained, "I'm sorry. I knew you were waiting for me and I chose not to come. That’s no excuse, but unfortunately, it's the truth. Please Rinoa, hear me out…"

Squall lowered the bag to his side, awaiting her next move. Sitting on the floor, she nodded her head in acceptance. Squall joined her and started digging through the paper bag. He finally handed her a hot dog.

"It's hard to get food this time of night, these cost me several hundred Gil each. Zell doesn't like parting with them...cheaply."

A small chuckle escaped her lips; she looked at the hot dog for a moment. Setting it on a napkin, she looked at the man across from her wanting answers, "Squall?"

The one word was all she needed to say. The knight sat across from her with a solemn look on his face. Slowly, he reached the distance between them, gently taking her hand. He intertwined their fingers, and then with the other hand, reached to the rings around her neck. He placed the tip of his finger within the Griever ring.

"Rinoa, I am sorry. Not just for tonight, but also for the last few months. Truthfully… those applications aren’t due for another few months. I used them as an excuse, nothing more. I've been working on extra training and also studying past sorceresses and knights. But it was what _wasn’t_ written in books that is more important than I ever imagined. Being a knight is not always about defending physically, it's also about being there emotionally. I've been scared - and that fear was taking over. It was just easier to avoid you than admit doubts to myself. But I promise, I won't do it again. I'll never make another excuse – I'll never lie to the one I love again. Promise."

Rinoa grasped his hand tightly, tilting her head slightly to the side. "Love?" she questioned trying to contain her shock.

Still holding the ring he pulled her closer, Squall leaned forward, never breaking the eye contact.

"Love," he replied simply.

Far off in Centra a candle lit, as a warrior from another century stared into the dancing flame. Looking toward the sky, the figure slightly nodded his head._ "Another life you will not steal from this earth. You lost this generation too," _Odin spoke triumphantly toward the heavens. A slow, gentle breeze played with the candle flame as a soft voice, barely audible, whispered:

_"I love you Odin. For now, for eternity."_


End file.
